I should be in bed, like for serious. I haven't been up this late without any particular reason in, well, about a year. Amanda's asleep on the couch. I have no idea what time she has to work tomorrow so I'll have to try to wake her up and get her into the bedroom. If I knew it wasn't till later in the day, then I'd just leave her on the couch. It's easier for everyone.
I split today pretty evenly between cleaning, playing Phantasy Star Universe, and playing with Miranda. I got the kitchen relatively cleaned (mopped, which is a small miracle) and picked up the living room. Hurricane Miranda can literally make half of the room unnegotiable in about 15 minutes. But cleaning is cleaning and everyone does it at some point or another, like experiment with homosexuality, just some more than others and some other's choose to make it a lifestyle.
Or get paid for it.
I have a theory about homosexuality. I think everyone is born able to be homosexual. It's just a matter of what turns you on. I have a thing for large breasted women. Could I get aroused by a small breasted woman? Yep. Could I get aroused by a man? Sure, given the right circumstances. I seek out to be aroused by large breasted women, or woman. Married, you see. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is the ability to be sexually aroused is inherent in us as a species.
Wait, I think I was going to say that we all have a preference for a particular type of person and we then choose to be... whatever, I think my theory was that sexual preference exists, which it does. I'll work on it some more. I'd like to argue that it is both nature and choice. I'll work on it.
I've been splitting my XBox time between Oblivion and Phantasy Star Universe (PSU). Oblivion is great, as many famous historians have said. On the other hand, I like PSU in spite of myself. I'm six hours in and the story is drab at best, non existent at worse and I don't like/sympathize/understand/giveashit the main character whatsoever. I'm not sure what it is about JRPGs and the fact that every main character in them makes you want to punch them in the throat. Seriously, I haven't liked a main character in one of these games since Squall. Now, Squall was an asshole and a douche, but at least he created a responce in the player.
Maybe they make the mains unassuming so the player can more easily put themselves in thier place? I don't know. If so, that's fucking stupid. I don't want to be Tidus, I want to be told a story. And while it's been 11 years since FF7 came out (yeah, 11 years, holy shit and also: let the game just die) I remember what Cloud was all about. I remember him trying to figure out his identity and holding Aerith and all that. I don't remember one fucking thing that Tidus ever did.
Ever.
But back to PSU: it breaks the mold a bit in two ways, battles are in real time. Let's say Kingdom Hearts style, more on that in a bit and the main character wears clothes that make sense. He does, however, show a hint of his mid-drift, although he's wearing a space hoodie. I'm not happy about it, but it's better than what who-the-fuck was wearing in FF12. But it owes a lot to KH in that enemies suddenly spawn in and you hit the attack button until they go away. The computer controls any other party members.
And they're fucking useless. Occasionally they'll set off a special attack. They'll swing their laser swords once in a while. I'll tell you what, it would be a lot better if it had "Pull your fat from the fire" Donald and "Doom-Bringer" Goofy in it. Goddamn, but Goofy could beat down some MFs. So yeah, and on top of the moronic AI, retarded plot and repetitive combat, you have sterile environments and nonsensical design choices (such as a string of giant metal doors in the middle of the wilderness).
But I've been enjoying it so far. Will I finish it? Not unless it shows me something fancy in the next few chapters. Ah, yes: the game is split up into chapters each of which is put together like a TV show episode, including an opening and "Next Episode" segments. Not really sure how I feel about that yet.
Miranda is doing excellent. I mean, I'm beginning to see her personality develop and I do like her. Quiet and analytical, but open to bouts of loud silliness. She likes what she likes and ignores the rest with little complaint. She loves to eat and has enjoyed or tolerated everything we've fed to her. I love spending time with her. I followed her as she wandered around Home Depot. She stopped and looked at everyone, smiled at people, but didn't get in anyone's way and only touched things she wanted to see more of. Some kids just touch to touch. She's playing in a much more rational way now. The design of a toy is much more important to her and she has preferences.
Jeremy (B-in-L) is going to start coming to Monday night gaming and I couldn't be happier.
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1 comment:
Ok, so here I am and I've read your stuff and now...I comment.
The sexuality thing, now THATS interesting: What if the Kinsey Scale is wrong, a good start but like Darwin's theory it's on the right track but just the tip of the iceberg. What if instead of a binary scale with stuff in-between it's actually a continuum or, brace yourself, an infinite circle. Human sexuality is always treated like it is this either/or thing i.e. one is either straight OR gay OR (thanks to Kinsey) some shade of bi. What if we are all just plain sexy and the shades are variant and changeable and neverendingly so. For instance, I like male-bodied people but given the right circumstance, as you have noted for yourself, I can get turned on by female-bodied people too, hell I can get turned on by pictures, music, motion, gravity, etc. I have never had sex with a female-bodied person and I don't seek out sexual relationships with them. This is not a choice that I have made for myself, its just the way I am. I often wish that I could really want to sleep with women because it would be interesting and because hell, I am gonna die someday BUT it just ain't in me. As far as the aesthetics of my attraction to male-bodied people I feel like I didn't necessarily choose that either. I just happen to be drawn to certain things for reasons that I can only ascribe to the innate nature of me and my personality. Is there variation in that too, of course. Not all of my partners have been big hairy long haired viking looking men but if I see one hangin' around I'm surely gonna be drawn to him.
Then we can throw in, just for fun, the fact that the idea of a binary gender is a social construct and that in reality everything alive that has sexy parts is capable of having an infinite variety of sexy parts. That and gender is assigned to us at birth and in many ways we are merely socialized to BE male or female and that part of the socialization is our sexuality, so much so that most people don't know the difference between the terms sexuality and gender.
It seems that humans have made such a horrible mess out of being alive and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets and that somewhere down the line everyone is gonna be so fucked up and confused that nothing will ever get done. Our social systems, with very few exceptions, are so infinitely fucked up we can't even just be human, be ourselves without basing it on an idea that doesn't really exist (gender) and fuck who we want without it being super convoluted.
In short, I think that our sexuality (who we want to fuck) is innate to each individual, not based on choice at all beyond making the decision obviously and literally, to fuck them. The rest of it, gender and rules and binaries, all bullshit that we made up for various and sundry reasons mostly to due with control and power and unfortunately for us reality can be dictated by mass hallucination.
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