Brought to you today by the letter "C"...

So I was thinking about the third letter of the alphabet today. It's a subject I've put some thought into in the past and today I made a desision. I'm going to stop using the letter "C" as much as I possibly can. "But J.R.", you, my dear reader, my say, "You just used it while spelling 'much'". Indeed I did and I'll defend that slip in a moment.

Now, the letter "C" as we all know is pronounced as an "S" sound as in "century" or a "k" sound as in "counter". It is the only letter that does not make a unique sound in its own right, but rather mimiks the sounds of two other letters. There is no reason, beyond tradition and konvention, that we should keep the letter. It would drop the number of letters to a more aesthetically pleasing 25, for one thing, and bring a more logikal and phoenetik spelling to many of the words in the English language. There is one konsession I'm willing to make, and that is the "ch" dipthong. Here the letter "C" would take its rightful plase as a grammatikal and alphabetikal oddity. A generation from now, children will ask their parents: "Mommy/Daddy what's that weird letter that isn't in the alphabet?" To which the parents will shrug. "Better not to speak of it," they would say.

So, dear reader, I urge you to join me in my quest to rid the English language of this parasite letter. This unnessesary and konfusing blight to our dear alphabet. Strike it from your korespondenses and defend your right and, indeed, duty in doing so.